Take the Idiot Test
Take the test before you read this page

1. Do they have a 4th of July in England?
Answer: Yes.

2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
Answer: One.

3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?
Answer: All of them (12).

4. A woman gives a beggar 50 cents; the woman is the beggar's sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. How come?
Answer: The beggar is her sister.

5. Why can't a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?
Answer: He can't be buried if he isn't dead.

6. How many outs are there in an inning?
Answer: 6

7. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? Why?
Answer: No -- because he is dead.

8. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are no ties. Explain this.
Answer: They aren't playing each other.

9. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
Answer: 70

10. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides have southern exposure. A big bear walks by, what color is the bear? Why?
Answer: White. The house is at the North Pole so it is a polar bear.

11. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?
Answer: 2

12. I have two US coins totaling 55 cents. One is not a nickel (5 cents). What are the coins?
Answer: 50 cent piece and a nickel. (One is a nickel, the *other* one isn't.)

13. If you have only one match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which one would you light first?
Answer: The match.

14. How far can a dog run into the woods?
Answer: Half-way, then he's running out of the woods.

15. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last?
Answer: 1 hour.

16. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?
Answer: 9

17. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?
Answer: None -- Noah took them on the ark, not Moses.

18. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh?
Answer: Meat

19. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
Answer: 12

20. What was the President's name in 1950?
Answer: The same as it is now.

Scoring guide:
20 Correct - Genius
17 Correct - Above Normal
15 Correct - Normal
8 Correct - Nincompoop
6 Correct - Moron
3 Correct - Idiot

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