A guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded
all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the
cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind
the counter on the shelf.
He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused
and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it
to him because he didn't believe him.
At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet
and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that
the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
address of the robber that he got off the license.
They arrested the robber two hours later.
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was
a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone
and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the
newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the
thief was arrested.
A true story out of San Francisco:
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call
the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank
of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.
After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
Fargo teller. She reads it and, surmising from his spelling errors
that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she
could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank
of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a
Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left.
The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a
few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He
later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that
contained another picture...of handcuffs. The motorist promptly
sent the money for the fine.
Drug Possession Defendant Christopher Jansen, on trial in March in
Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant.
The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a
"bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun.
Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket
that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge
discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard
he required a five minute recess to compose himself.
Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience
store in a district court when he fired his lawyer. Assistant
district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of
defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was
the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then
said, "I should of blown your (expletive) head off."
The defendant paused, then quickly added, "if I'd been the one that
The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30-year sentence.
R.C. Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing
their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood.
When he asked how the system worked, the officer asked him for
Gaitlan gave them his drivers license, they entered it into the
computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlan because information
on the screen showed Gaitlan was wanted for a two-year-old armed
robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.
Another from Detroit:
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
A man walked into a Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for
change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and
asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer?
[If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, was a crime
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just
throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was
made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
[ Did the would-be thief then sue? Would have in NY. ]
As a female shopper exited a convenience store, a man grabbed her purse
and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give
them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
had apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to
the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand
there for a positive ID. To which he replied "Yes Officer..that's her.
That's the lady I stole the purse from."
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a
Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motorhome's sewage tank
by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying
that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 8:50am, flashed a gun and demanded cash.
The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated,
Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain
from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling
the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their
truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the
chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to
With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.